Intensive hyperventilating, teeming overthinking thoughts, irritability. Growing up in a household where I have very high expectations embedded in my name has shaped me into being a perfectionist. At a young age I never fully understood why I began to excessively worry about every little detail whether it was in the past or something that might happen in the future. I grew up with every day overthinking thoughts, and because of this, my performance at school has not been my best. At age 15 I got diagnosed with anxiety and that has eternally changed my life.
This summer, I made the bold and petrifying decision to move schools. I was very unsatisfied with my last high school because they didn’t meet my expectations when it came to my education. The school I previously attended rapidly turned into a pessimistic environment in which I didn’t feel comfortable attending anymore. I felt like my intellectual self wasn’t greatly acknowledged or appreciated, which eventually led to me believing that my intellectual worth was not worth it in this school. In the middle of summer, I knew that I didn’t want to return to a school where my education wasn’t prioritized and acknowledged because I knew what I wanted for my future.
The next thing I know, I'm applying to Haas Hall Academy in Springdale. I heard a lot of positive things about this school, and I knew that it wouldn’t hurt to try out this new school. During the summer, I purchased my uniforms and filled out all the required documents and such. Summer eventually came to an end and I knew that my anxiety would inevitably come back.
To this day, I still remember going to sleep the night before school and the insane hypothetical scenarios along with the overthinking. It was finally the morning of the first day of school and as I was getting ready I was very excited but also very nervous. As soon as I stepped through the doors of my new school, I was immediately greeted with eyes looking at me up and down. My heart started beating out of my chest, and I was shaking so much. I remember standing there bluntly frozen whenever the teacher asked me for my name. When I finally did say my name, I began to stutter and immediately started apologizing for literally stuttering.
Something that caught me by surprise was how welcoming my new school was after the first couple of days. As I got more and more comfortable with my new school as well as the new teachers, classmates, classes, etc., I immediately knew that I had to use my confidence to overcome all my overthinking and hypothetical situations. By being confident and being myself, I was able to do way better in school by making closer relationships with my friends, teachers, classmates, etc. Now, I believe that by using your confidence as well as having a positive mindset, you can manage your life in a more positive way.
Marely Martinez, 11th Grade, Springdale, AR