You are too tall, too short, too skinny, not skinny enough. Your hair looks too thin, but if it looks thick then you have extensions, and no one wants to be around a fake girl. You eat too much, or you don’t eat enough. You can’t say “hi” to a boy because you’re a threat to another girl, but if you ignore them, then you are rude. Your makeup and hair must be done, or you are a bum, but boys like your hair in a messy bun because it makes you look more attractive. There is no in between; you are either too much or not enough. Don’t stand too tall because you are acting better than everyone, but don’t slouch because you need to have confidence.
Confidence. Something that everyone should have, but it is the easiest thing to get stripped of. Don’t be too confident on a test because you are trying hard, but you also need to believe in yourself. Wear clothes that make you look good, but don’t show too much skin, or you will be shamed. There is one thing in common with all of these insults, and that is, they are all geared towards women, specifically young women.
The dictionary definition of society is the aggregate of people living together in a more or less ordered community. The real definition of society in our world now can be put into a single word– standards. The standards that have been put into play in our society are all, simply, impossible. There is no way to do anything right in this world without having some kind of consequence to follow.
Women are told to hold their heads high and never slouch. Boys won’t look at you if your shoulders aren’t showing, and you are shamed by women if they’re showing because you want too much attention. All of these standards are turning women against each other, and they are no longer working together to become stronger. Now, they are looking at each other and seeing what they can do differently to look like the other one. It is causing a never ending stream of jealousy.
Being jealous is not a good look. You are jealous of the mean girls and to be honest, they are also jealous of you. You hide your emotions so well and no one can figure you out. Every girl wants to look or act differently than they do right now. “Women empowering women” and “Babes supporting babes” are phrases that we can say all day long, but is it actually true? Do you look at the girl next to you and think “she is so pretty?” Or do you look at her and wonder what you could do to be prettier than her? How could you bring her down? How could you make everyone look at you instead? I wonder what her workout routine is, makeup routine, etc. It’s never, “I wonder what her heart looks like, what she might be going through, or what someone said to her that makes her so ‘unknown’.”
At the end of the day, girls should be looking at their fellow girl friends for advice, words of encouragement, or maybe that makeup product that they ran out of. They shouldn’t be looking at them to see how they can take what she is doing, and do it better. It all comes down to standards. If one girl fits the mold of a perfect girl from the outside, then how can you do it as well? Standards are all about how you look on the outside, it is not how hard you work for your goals or what your passions are.
Don’t look to the girls in your life for validation that you didn’t get from the boy. Look to them for encouragement, for someone to lean on. Being a woman seems impossible, but take it back to what it was meant to be. Girlhood was meant to be a society of its own. It was not meant to tear down the girl that sits next to you in class just because you want to feel better about yourself.
Ava Morgan
@avacmorgan